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This is simply not true. In fact, they
have very few legal rights. The concept of
common law marriage was abolished in 1753
but has lived on in myth and legend ever
since and still causes untold hardship for
many people.
The message was driven home more than 20
years ago in the landmark case of Burns v
Burns which went all the way to the House
of Lords. The couple weren’t married but
had lived together for 19 years and the
woman had even taken her partner’s name.
She brought up their two children, looked
after the house and contributed to
household expenses. None of that meant
much when they split up and she was denied
a share of the house. As a mere co-habitee
she had no automatic rights.
It’s a scenario that’s been played out a
thousand times ever since and even
developed into a storyline in the TV soap
Emmerdale with Nicola and Steven breaking
up just seven months after buying a place
together.
It’s time the myth was exploded once and
for all: women who live with their
partners don’t have the same legal
protection as wives, no matter how long
they have been together. They may well
have to fight for a share of the house and
its belongings when the relationship turns
sour. All too often, they don’t have the
will to do so amid all the emotional
turmoil.
In a typical case highlighted recently by
the government, Katie split up with her
partner of nine years after he had an
affair. He agreed to buy her share of the
house but it had to be at a reduced rate
because that was all he could afford. They
never got round to sharing their furniture
and other belongings because it was all
too messy and she couldn’t face it.
He even managed to hang on to the car that
she had actually paid for. A year down the
line, she found herself in trouble when he
stopped making payments on debts that were
still in their joint names. She ended up
with a County Court judgment against her.
The first she heard of it was when she
failed a credit check for a mobile phone.
And in case men feel they’ve nothing to
worry about, they might like to consider
their position regarding their children.
The fact is that an unmarried father whose
child was born pre Dec 2003 has no
automatic rights as far as his children
are concerned unless a Parental
Responsibility Agreement has been signed
or a court order obtained. That can be
hard, not least for the children who
sometimes find themselves caught in a
bitter crossfire between their parents.
It doesn’t have to be like that. This time
last year the government launched a
campaign to encourage couples to draw up
living together agreements. They set down
how a couple organise their finances and
how things might be divided in the case on
any dispute.
They need to be worded carefully and it’s
important to get legal advice, but they’re
well worth the effort. They’ve helped
thousands of people cement their
relationships and stop those occasional
doubts about what might happen if they
split up.
Put like this, it may seem negative, which
is why many people don’t like to talk
about it. It seems unromantic. No one
likes thinking of these things as
Valentine’s Day approaches. After all, you
want to woo each other not sue each other.
To think like this is to misunderstand the
real value of living together agreements.
They shouldn’t be seen as part of a
doomsday scenario but as a way of putting
an already strong relationship on an even
firmer foundation.
Even in good relationships, little niggles
and irritations build up about who is
paying for what and so on. Most couples
find that making a living together
agreement helps them discuss such things
and iron out any problems, instead of
burying their heads in the sand or letting
them fester on causing silent resentment
for years.
Once the agreements are complete, both
partners can get on with their lives with
an extra feeling of security. And if they
do eventually split up, the trauma should
be reduced by the fact that the legal side
of things has already been sorted out.
Living together agreements may not
seem romantic, and legal language may not
provide you with the sweet nothings to
whisper as you cuddle on your new, jointly
owned sofa, but they may stop you fighting
over that same sofa if you break up.
For further information contact Sarah
Perkins , Tel 0115 988 6718, e-mail
Sarah Perkins
Sarah Perkins
is head of The Family Law Department at
Nottingham Firm Andersons Solicitors and
can be contacted by phoning 0115 9470641
or emailing
Sarah Perkins
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